Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
Whisper my favorite words: "Let me buy it for you."
Suburbia is where they tear out the trees, then name the streets after them.
Stress is when you wake up screaming, then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Adults are big kids who owe money.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Dad?
I pretend to work, and they pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!
Errors have been made, but others will be blamed. Isn’t life grand?
"Yes, I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?"
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