good advice. do something.

SOMEONE will not agree, i think

advice

be sure

for the last exam...

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

- Marianne Williams, a return to love

i think i have found my quote

the winning streak

it's 2009

and people say you should start out with resolutions.

i never really keep em.

but i've had a great year in 2008.

just living life.

so i might as well keep the winning streak.

things were good. not all good. but pretty damn good.

i graduated. whoop-de-doo.

fell madly, deeply, head over heels in love. with edward cullen. just kidding. baptiste, of course.

i backpacked and saw the world. (or just asia. but still. it was more fun than i could have imagined)

turned 21. legal age. i can legally marry without my parents' consent, as the Family Code says. hardiharhar.

i had epiphanies and wake-up calls.

got into law school. (although that might be more bad than good. jury's still out)

joined the ateneo human rights center.

passed my first semester of law school.

it had its downsides.

lost karl to dengue (my immersion kid) and lola jenny. r.i.p.

and other personal stuff.

but no regrets.

i'll keep my resolutions simple.

1. be zen.

law school has the nasty habit of stressing me out, putting me on edge, teaching me arrogance. 

i don't want to be a lawyer to push people down just to claw my way to the top.

i'd like a life that's calm, that helps, that has dignity and integrity.

Woman: But where does your money come from? Who gives it to you?

Little girl: The world.

--34th St Subway Station

2. enjoy the little things in life.

i like getting excited over fast food, cute kids, a good book, great conversation, that one particular song, a cool website, friends, laughter, a soft bed, me time. you know, the little things people overlook.

the unsung heroes of life.

they win over flash every time.

College girl: When we get back to the dorm, let's eat a bunch of stupid snacks.

College guy: Yeah, not smart snacks like Nurti-Grain bars, but stupid snacks like Pop-Tarts and Easy Mac.

College girl: Sooo stupid.

--110th & Lexington

3. stay in love.

not just with baptiste. with people. with family. with friends. with life.

no holds barred, crazy person, defend to the death kinda love.

it's the sedate people who have no fun.

Guy on cell: I love you...(defensively) Yes I do!

--Columbus Circle

4. cherish my friends and be nice to people in general.

there are friends i will keep for life that i've had for a while, some i've had for only a few years, others i've only just met. there are friends i'm waiting to meet.

but all have that feeling that you've known them forever.

they get you and your weird sense of humor. 

that's how special they are.

so you keep em forever.

Bus driver: Good morning passengers! You may have heard recently that bus drivers have been put on a diet to make them nicer and more helpful. Now this doctor has told me, "No more bacon and eggs, but a nice bowl of oatmeal. Oh, and lots of water, fruit. And instead of stopping for some pork fried rice in the afternoon, with chicken wings, a nice piece of flounder, maybe with some butter and herbs." Now it's been 15 days, and I am so much more polite to passengers, saying "Good morning. How do you do?" I'm even nicer to mama when she gets home. Helpin' her with her carriage and bags; lowering the bus for people at the curb. So I just want to thank you and let you know to bear with me for another 15 days. Thank you and have a nice day.

--B61 Bus

5. me-time.

not enough to keep me sane.

more this year.

a sigh isn't just a sigh. 

we inhale the world and breathe out meaning.

while we can.

-salman rushdie

happy new years, everyone.

stand out from the crowd

What Makes a Man Fall in Love

 When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.

When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? What kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."

A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him

Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.

A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time

Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!

A Woman with a Strut

Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.

A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties

Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every  relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.