you know you're a law student when...

1. You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.

2. Substance abuse becomes you. -beer, yosi, coffee name it!

3. The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.

4. You consider tie-dying all of your t-shirts because they are already half covered in fluorescent ink from your highlighters.

5. You no longer have an ego left to bruise...it' s already been beaten to a bloody pulp.

6. You make adverse possession jokes. (not quite, but i laughed at "you can't legislate love")

7. You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students' minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn't get enough hugs as a child.

8. You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between a conspirator and an accomplice. (almost! but you know, i'm not that good at effin' crim)

9. You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between coffee and red bull.

10. You can't remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself. -a little of both, but really, i just want to be rich.

11. You think whoever came up with the Socratic method should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake. (and have his balls set upon by fire ants)

12. You can't think of any legitimate reason why a law student would need access to certain public records, but you can think of a whole lot of illegitimate ones.

13. You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate.

14. You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic. (the truest thing ever. but i really just want to be a waitress)

15. You know all sorts of sneaky and creative ways to steal from clients thanks to your Professionalism and Ethics class.

16. You're pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a friendless tool who still lives with his mother.

plus a few extras i've heard about from barristers:

17. you forget how to spell words like unforeseeable and just end up writing "cannot be foreseen."

18. you forget how to spell period. it takes you 2 minutes to unblock from one word.

19. you wonder why you decided to pay someone megabucks to harass you with cases and recits and exams, when you can just be paid to do work that never follows you home.

20. when you take a test and the procter tells you time is up, you want to bite his hand when he reaches for you paper. what does he know about giving you minus points for breaking deadline, it's your dream to be a lawyer and he better not stand in your way.