Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Bumper Sticker Humor
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
Whisper my favorite words: "Let me buy it for you."
Suburbia is where they tear out the trees, then name the streets after them.
Stress is when you wake up screaming, then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Adults are big kids who owe money.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Dad?
I pretend to work, and they pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!
Errors have been made, but others will be blamed. Isn’t life grand?
"Yes, I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?"
Whisper my favorite words: "Let me buy it for you."
Suburbia is where they tear out the trees, then name the streets after them.
Stress is when you wake up screaming, then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Adults are big kids who owe money.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Dad?
I pretend to work, and they pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!
Errors have been made, but others will be blamed. Isn’t life grand?
"Yes, I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?"
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
he's playing prince of persia.... whoa!
gone are the days when the prince of persia was a teeny tiny "video game" character.talk about buff.
he looks like he should be dipping a half-naked corseted leading lady on a romance novel on sale.
Make room for Phelps as winningest Olympian ever
BEIJING (AP)—Michael Phelps climbed out of the pool, unzipped his skin-tight suit and ambled over to chat with his coach.
“Well, you’re tied,” Bob Bowman reminded him.
“That’s pretty cool,” Phelps replied.
Yawn. This guy is making monumental feats look ridiculously easy.
Phelps etched his name with Mark Spitz and Carl Lewis among the winningest Olympians ever with his third gold medal and third world record in as many days.
In winning the 200-meter freestyle Tuesday, Phelps ran his career Olympic total to nine golds and avenged his only individual loss in Athens four years ago, when a 19-year-old Phelps took on the 200 free just so he could compete with Ian Thorpe and Pieter van den Hoogenband.
He finished third that night in what was called the “Race of the Century.” This time, it was hardly a race at all.
Phelps all the way.
“I hate to lose,” he said. “When you lose a race like that, it motivates me even more to try to swim faster.”
Competing out in lane six, Phelps quickly surged to the lead and led by a full body length halfway through the second of four laps. He was nearly two seconds ahead of the field when he touched in 1 minute, 42.96 seconds, breaking the mark of 1:43.86 he set at last year’s world championships.
“I just wanted to be out at the 50-meter point, and that’s where I was,” said Phelps, much more reserved in his reaction after a wild performance on deck the previous day. “I was in open water, and it was difficult for the other guys to see me.”
South Korea’s Park Tae-hwan took the silver in 1:44.85, touching while Phelps was already looking at the scoreboard. Peter Vanderkaay, one of Phelps’ training partners, gave the U.S. another medal by claiming the bronze in 1:45.14.
“I knew Park is strong in the last 50 meters,” Phelps said of the 400 free gold medalist, “so I knew I had to be fast and concentrated.”
Everyone else figured they were racing for second.
“Phelps swam so fast,” Park said. “It is my honor to compete with him.”
Added Vanderkaay, “I just tried to swim my own race. He’s going to go out, but I can’t let that affect my race strategy.”
Phelps is now 3-for-3 in Beijing, on course to beat Spitz’s 36-year-old record of seven golds in a single Olympics. He opened with a world record in the 400 individual medley, then led off an epic victory in the 400 free relay.
While chasing Spitz, he’ll take care of another historical landmark, one he wasn’t even aware of until earlier this year.
Phelps’s ninth career gold tied him with Spitz, Lewis, Soviet gymnast Larysa Latynina and Finnish runner Paavo Nurmi for the most in Olympic history.
“To be tied for the most Olympic golds of all time, with those names, in Olympic history …,” Phelps said, before pausing and letting out a slight chuckle.
“The Olympics have been around for so many years, that’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.”
The mark isn’t likely to be shared for long. Phelps will go for his fourth and fifth golds of these games, which would push him to 11 overall, when he competes Wednesday in the finals of the 200 butterfly and 800 free relay, two more events in which he already holds world records.
Just for kicks, Phelps set an Olympic record during Tuesday’s 200 fly semifinals, competing less than an hour after winning the 200 free.
“I set up an opportunity to have a perfect swim tomorrow,” Phelps said.
Perfection. That sums up the gangly 23-year-old from Baltimore who loves rap music, pimped-out cars and doing things in the pool that no one else even dared to think of.
“It might be once in a century you see something like this,” teammate Aaron Peirsol said. “He’s not just winning, he’s absolutely destroying everything. It’s awesome to watch.”
Phelps is a creature of habit. He struggles to wake up in the morning, and loves to take naps in the middle of the afternoon. He gets two massages a day and takes ice baths to help his body recover from the grueling schedule. He whoofs down gargantuan amounts of pasta and pizza between races.
“Lots of carbs,” he said.
When it’s time to race, there’s no one better.
“It’s his physical ability, it’s his ability to race, it’s his ability to keep focused, to get excited when he needs to and to come down when he needs to come down,” said Mark Schubert, head coach of the U.S. team.
“Well, you’re tied,” Bob Bowman reminded him.
“That’s pretty cool,” Phelps replied.
Yawn. This guy is making monumental feats look ridiculously easy.
Phelps etched his name with Mark Spitz and Carl Lewis among the winningest Olympians ever with his third gold medal and third world record in as many days.
In winning the 200-meter freestyle Tuesday, Phelps ran his career Olympic total to nine golds and avenged his only individual loss in Athens four years ago, when a 19-year-old Phelps took on the 200 free just so he could compete with Ian Thorpe and Pieter van den Hoogenband.
He finished third that night in what was called the “Race of the Century.” This time, it was hardly a race at all.
Phelps all the way.
“I hate to lose,” he said. “When you lose a race like that, it motivates me even more to try to swim faster.”
Competing out in lane six, Phelps quickly surged to the lead and led by a full body length halfway through the second of four laps. He was nearly two seconds ahead of the field when he touched in 1 minute, 42.96 seconds, breaking the mark of 1:43.86 he set at last year’s world championships.
“I just wanted to be out at the 50-meter point, and that’s where I was,” said Phelps, much more reserved in his reaction after a wild performance on deck the previous day. “I was in open water, and it was difficult for the other guys to see me.”
South Korea’s Park Tae-hwan took the silver in 1:44.85, touching while Phelps was already looking at the scoreboard. Peter Vanderkaay, one of Phelps’ training partners, gave the U.S. another medal by claiming the bronze in 1:45.14.
“I knew Park is strong in the last 50 meters,” Phelps said of the 400 free gold medalist, “so I knew I had to be fast and concentrated.”
Everyone else figured they were racing for second.
“Phelps swam so fast,” Park said. “It is my honor to compete with him.”
Added Vanderkaay, “I just tried to swim my own race. He’s going to go out, but I can’t let that affect my race strategy.”
Phelps is now 3-for-3 in Beijing, on course to beat Spitz’s 36-year-old record of seven golds in a single Olympics. He opened with a world record in the 400 individual medley, then led off an epic victory in the 400 free relay.
While chasing Spitz, he’ll take care of another historical landmark, one he wasn’t even aware of until earlier this year.
Phelps’s ninth career gold tied him with Spitz, Lewis, Soviet gymnast Larysa Latynina and Finnish runner Paavo Nurmi for the most in Olympic history.
“To be tied for the most Olympic golds of all time, with those names, in Olympic history …,” Phelps said, before pausing and letting out a slight chuckle.
“The Olympics have been around for so many years, that’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.”
The mark isn’t likely to be shared for long. Phelps will go for his fourth and fifth golds of these games, which would push him to 11 overall, when he competes Wednesday in the finals of the 200 butterfly and 800 free relay, two more events in which he already holds world records.
Just for kicks, Phelps set an Olympic record during Tuesday’s 200 fly semifinals, competing less than an hour after winning the 200 free.
“I set up an opportunity to have a perfect swim tomorrow,” Phelps said.
Perfection. That sums up the gangly 23-year-old from Baltimore who loves rap music, pimped-out cars and doing things in the pool that no one else even dared to think of.
“It might be once in a century you see something like this,” teammate Aaron Peirsol said. “He’s not just winning, he’s absolutely destroying everything. It’s awesome to watch.”
Phelps is a creature of habit. He struggles to wake up in the morning, and loves to take naps in the middle of the afternoon. He gets two massages a day and takes ice baths to help his body recover from the grueling schedule. He whoofs down gargantuan amounts of pasta and pizza between races.
“Lots of carbs,” he said.
When it’s time to race, there’s no one better.
“It’s his physical ability, it’s his ability to race, it’s his ability to keep focused, to get excited when he needs to and to come down when he needs to come down,” said Mark Schubert, head coach of the U.S. team.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
the one time i actually like paris hilton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrxqY0BlgII&watch_response
someone didn't do his background research. don't bite the hand that feeds you, mccain! republican fund money comes from the hiltons.
someone didn't do his background research. don't bite the hand that feeds you, mccain! republican fund money comes from the hiltons.
Actor and comedian Bernie Mac dies at age 50
CHICAGO - Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper "Ocean's Eleven" and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," died Saturday at age 50.
"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.
She said no other details were available and asked that his family's privacy be respected.
The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.
Recently, Mac's brand of comedy caught him flack when he was heckled during a surprise appearance at a July fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate and fellow Chicagoan Barack Obama.
Toward the end of a 10-minute standup routine, Mac joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language. The performance earned him a rebuke from Obama's campaign.
But despite controversy or difficulties, in his words, Mac was always a performer.
"Wherever I am, I have to play," he said in 2002. "I have to put on a good show."
Mac worked his way to Hollywood success from an impoverished upbringing on Chicago's South Side. He began doing standup as a child, and his film career started with a small role as a club doorman in the Damon Wayans comedy "Mo' Money" in 1992. In 1996, he appeared in the Spike Lee drama "Get on the Bus."
He was one of "The Original Kings of Comedy" in the 2000 documentary of that title that brought a new generation of black standup comedy stars to a wider audience.
"The majority of his core fan base will remember that when they paid their money to see Bernie Mac ... he gave them their money's worth," Steve Harvey, one of his costars in "Original Kings," told CNN on Saturday.
Mac went on to star in the hugely popular "Ocean's Eleven" franchise with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
His turn with Ashton Kutcher in 2005's "Guess Who" topped the box office. It was a comedy remake of the classic Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn drama "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" — with Mac as the black dad who's shocked that his daughter is marrying a white man.
Mac also had starring roles in "Bad Santa," "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and "Transformers."
In the late 1990s, he had a recurring role in "Moesha," the UPN network comedy starring pop star Brandy.
The comedian drew critical and popular acclaim with his Fox television series "The Bernie Mac Show," which aired more than 100 episodes from 2001 to 2006.
The series about a man's adventures raising his sister's three children, won a Peabody Award in 2002. At the time, judges wrote they chose the sitcom for transcending "race and class while lifting viewers with laughter, compassion — and cool."
The show garnered Golden Globe and Emmy nominations for Mac.
"But television handcuffs you, man," he said in a 2001 Associated Press interview. "Now everyone telling me what I CAN'T do, what I CAN say, what I SHOULD do, and asking, `Are blacks gonna be mad at you? Are whites gonna accept you?'"
He also was nominated for a Grammy award for best comedy album in 2001 along with his "The Original Kings of Comedy" co-stars, Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric The Entertainer.
In 2007, Mac told David Letterman on CBS' "Late Show" that he planned to retire soon.
"I'm going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit," Mac told Letterman. "I missed a lot of things, you know. I was a street performer for two years. I went into clubs in 1977."
Mac was born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough on Oct. 5, 1957, in Chicago. He grew up on the city's South Side, living with his mother and grandparents. His grandfather was the deacon of a Baptist church.
In his 2004 memoir, "Maybe You Never Cry Again," Mac wrote about having a poor childhood — eating bologna for dinner — and a strict, no-nonsense upbringing.
"I came from a place where there wasn't a lot of joy," Mac told the AP in 2001. "I decided to try to make other people laugh when there wasn't a lot of things to laugh about."
Mac's mother died of cancer when he was 16. In his book, Mac said she was a support for him and told him he would surprise everyone when he grew up.
"Woman believed in me," he wrote. "She believed in me long before I believed."
___
christ! everyone is dying! heath ledger and bernie mac! all the talented ones pa!
"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.
She said no other details were available and asked that his family's privacy be respected.
The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.
Recently, Mac's brand of comedy caught him flack when he was heckled during a surprise appearance at a July fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate and fellow Chicagoan Barack Obama.
Toward the end of a 10-minute standup routine, Mac joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language. The performance earned him a rebuke from Obama's campaign.
But despite controversy or difficulties, in his words, Mac was always a performer.
"Wherever I am, I have to play," he said in 2002. "I have to put on a good show."
Mac worked his way to Hollywood success from an impoverished upbringing on Chicago's South Side. He began doing standup as a child, and his film career started with a small role as a club doorman in the Damon Wayans comedy "Mo' Money" in 1992. In 1996, he appeared in the Spike Lee drama "Get on the Bus."
He was one of "The Original Kings of Comedy" in the 2000 documentary of that title that brought a new generation of black standup comedy stars to a wider audience.
"The majority of his core fan base will remember that when they paid their money to see Bernie Mac ... he gave them their money's worth," Steve Harvey, one of his costars in "Original Kings," told CNN on Saturday.
Mac went on to star in the hugely popular "Ocean's Eleven" franchise with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
His turn with Ashton Kutcher in 2005's "Guess Who" topped the box office. It was a comedy remake of the classic Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn drama "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" — with Mac as the black dad who's shocked that his daughter is marrying a white man.
Mac also had starring roles in "Bad Santa," "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and "Transformers."
In the late 1990s, he had a recurring role in "Moesha," the UPN network comedy starring pop star Brandy.
The comedian drew critical and popular acclaim with his Fox television series "The Bernie Mac Show," which aired more than 100 episodes from 2001 to 2006.
The series about a man's adventures raising his sister's three children, won a Peabody Award in 2002. At the time, judges wrote they chose the sitcom for transcending "race and class while lifting viewers with laughter, compassion — and cool."
The show garnered Golden Globe and Emmy nominations for Mac.
"But television handcuffs you, man," he said in a 2001 Associated Press interview. "Now everyone telling me what I CAN'T do, what I CAN say, what I SHOULD do, and asking, `Are blacks gonna be mad at you? Are whites gonna accept you?'"
He also was nominated for a Grammy award for best comedy album in 2001 along with his "The Original Kings of Comedy" co-stars, Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric The Entertainer.
In 2007, Mac told David Letterman on CBS' "Late Show" that he planned to retire soon.
"I'm going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit," Mac told Letterman. "I missed a lot of things, you know. I was a street performer for two years. I went into clubs in 1977."
Mac was born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough on Oct. 5, 1957, in Chicago. He grew up on the city's South Side, living with his mother and grandparents. His grandfather was the deacon of a Baptist church.
In his 2004 memoir, "Maybe You Never Cry Again," Mac wrote about having a poor childhood — eating bologna for dinner — and a strict, no-nonsense upbringing.
"I came from a place where there wasn't a lot of joy," Mac told the AP in 2001. "I decided to try to make other people laugh when there wasn't a lot of things to laugh about."
Mac's mother died of cancer when he was 16. In his book, Mac said she was a support for him and told him he would surprise everyone when he grew up.
"Woman believed in me," he wrote. "She believed in me long before I believed."
___
christ! everyone is dying! heath ledger and bernie mac! all the talented ones pa!
Friday, August 8, 2008
for stephie
from ed westwick's photobucket (which i stupidly forgot the name of). tangina! i heard they were roomies. that's the best-looking apartment in new york city. hotnessss galore.sooo romantic
i got this from people. com when they were doing a competition for best pictures. the guy asked a stranger to take a picture of him and his gf (like a tourist shot) and right when the guy clicked the photo, he got down on one knee and proposed so she would have a proof of the happiest day of his life.meeeeelllltttt....
mine is bigger than yours. sorta.
(Asian guy cuts in front of black guy in suit and starts peeing into toilet)
Black guy in suit: I was here first.
Asian guy: I have to go more.
Black guy in suit: Move or I am going to piss on your back, motherfucker.
(Black guy now stands side by side with Asian guy at toilet, both actually peeing into same toilet while trying to push each other away)
--W 4th Pizza Place
Thursday, August 7, 2008
norby
Norbert
Der Mann mit dem so wichtigen Überblick. Fleißiger Arbeiter mit hohem Anspruch. Eine gefestigte Meinung und Durchsetzungskraft sind seine Stärken. Auf ihn ist Verlass, wenn's mal eng wird.
Der Mann mit dem so wichtigen Überblick. Fleißiger Arbeiter mit hohem Anspruch. Eine gefestigte Meinung und Durchsetzungskraft sind seine Stärken. Auf ihn ist Verlass, wenn's mal eng wird.
all i understand was german german german! haha you look so sensitive and emo.
airplane terrorism for me would be....
1. screaming babies
2. a non-stop 24 hour flight with no leg room
3. the middle seat between two fat people.
4. crap movies like cheaper by the dozen 2.
5. green breakfast eggs.
2. a non-stop 24 hour flight with no leg room
3. the middle seat between two fat people.
4. crap movies like cheaper by the dozen 2.
5. green breakfast eggs.
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